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by Ielle Palmer

EXT - City Docks - Evening

CAP 1: I used to see it as a game, really...

panel 1: A paper boat travels a bit and promptly sinks.
panel 2: We revealing an older gentleman dressed in early fall clothing, approaching another person, a young woman in an oversized pea coat with short bright red hair, nearly blood red who is looking off across the docks at the boats.

Man: Miss, was that your boat?

Panel 3: She looks past him, smiling, and we suddenly realize that her eyes are completely white, perhaps with a tinge of silver where her pupils should be.

CAP 2: A thrill, something to pass the day.

Faye: yes, but you can keep it. I always make more. Good evening.

Panel 4: Her walking cane snaps out beside her, and she begins to walk off, leaving the man to gape after her.

Ext - Docks - Cont’d

Panel 1: LS of Faye, wandering down a dock in a busy city harbor, while workers are trying to unload various cargo ships.

CAP 3: You see, the problem was how easy it came to me.

PANEL 2: Medium shot of her feeling about the various crates sitting down. A foreman takes notice and shouts at her. She doesn’t hear him over the machinery.

Foreman: Lady! Whada ya, deaf?...Look... MISS, you can’t be hanging round here.

Faye: Sorry, what?

Foreman: What are you doing here?

Panel 3: Faye smiles and points up

Faye: The cranes.

The foreman gives her a look as if she’s crazy.

Foreman: The cranes?

Faye: They’re soothing.

They’re sooth- HA! Ah... ha ha ha. Can’t say I’ve heard em called that before... But hey you can’t stay here, miss. I ain’t got insurance for an audience.

PANEL 4: Faye leans forward so her eyes glow.

CAP 4: The Lying...

Faye: I understand, but you see-

Foreman: Jesus Christ!

PANEL 5: MS of the foreman and Faye facing off. The foreman seem's to be weakening.

Faye: So many sounds in this town, and well... this is the best way to drown them all out. You wouldn’t deny me a bit of peace, would you?

Foreman: Go sit at the front of the dock, then. Guys’ll be less likely to drop sumpthun on yer head there. But you give me any problems or I see my boys taking five with ya and yer outta here, got it?

Panel 6: CU of Faye looking a bit evil while smiling, she slinks back into the shadows, her silver white eyes the only thing showing.

Faye: Got it.


Ext. Dock - Later

Panel 1: Wide angle: The last of the dockmen lock the gate and leave for the night.

CAP 5: ...The waiting.

Panel 2: A solitary watchman begins to settled down in his booth by the gate with his coffee and magazine.

Panel 3: Faye steps from the shadows, peeling off her pea coat. Her eyes still white, but her cane nowhere in sight.

Panel 4: Back to the watchman in his booth. He is watching some show on his tiny tv while adjusting the sandwich he’s brought with him. He sings along with a jingle on the tv.

Watchman: “It’s fizzy it’s funny, you get more for yer money... it’s Bungee.. An active drink, for an active life.”

Panel 5: Below him, faye has pressed herself against the outside of the booth, a blackjack in her hand. Suddenly his phone rings.

Watchman: ‘Allo? Wha... oh what have I told you about calling me when I’m at work? ... Yeah, I know... well I missed ya too. But Kim you can’t keep calling me, what if my boss stopped in. Yeah I know he never does.

Watchman: So, have you felt it kick tonight? When what happened? While watching American idol, well, I’d kick ya too if you made me watch that shit. What, no I’m not watching it now.


Ext. Dock - Continuous

PANEL 1: CU of the watchman's hand scrambling to turn the volume off.

TV: Welcome back, our judges will be releasing-

Panel 2: Reaction of Faye listening to him. She's near tears. She can see a light coming from the water towards the docks.

Watchman: Yeah... no I love you too. Babe, I’m watching an bunch of boats sit dead in the water. What’s gonna happen, I get dry rot? Yes I know. No, I know that too. Well that was a few weeks ago and it was in New York. Who the hell would want something in Jersey? Right, I know.... I know. Kimberly! Christ I know, okay? Breathe. The doctor told you, you can keep stressing yourself out like-

Faye (quietly): Shit.

Panel 3: The watchman has his back to Faye, who is posed to strike, her blackjack in hand. The light is getting closer

Watchman: Okay, uh huh. Yup... yup... yup. Okay, I gotta go. Seriously. Okay. Uh huh. Love you too. See you in a couple of hours. Bye.

SOUND: the cellphone closing with a "Snap!"

Watchman: What the hell-

panel 4: CU of his hand rolling towards the phone. Suddenly a blackjack comes down onto it.

CAP 6: ... and the attack.

panel 5: He cries out and crumbles to the floor of the small booth. Faye is pressing her foot onto his already injured hand, she raps him over the nose, causing it to shoot blood every which way.

Watchman: P-please... please...

Faye: (calmly) keys.

Watchman: I-I’m having a baby.

Faye: keys

Watchman: Oh christ... your eyes!


Ext. Docks - Continuous

PANEL 1: Faye raps him again, this time breaking his other hand causing him to scream.

Faye: KEYS!

Watchman: right drawer, right drawer! Oh god... please don’t kill me. Please. Not like this. Take whatever you want... they’ve got tons of stuff on there still... computers.. .tvs... cellphones! Just please... I don’t want to die!

Panel 2: She looks to see the light has turned out to be a medium sized boat, which has pulled up to the dock, men are beginning to get off. One looks rather important. She is frowning.

Faye: what's your feeling about headaches?

Panel 3: Faye, toying with the keys, unlocks a the gate where a truck is waiting. gets up and goes to the gate, hurrying to unlock it. Another man is waiting on the other side.

Blythe: Took you long enough, Marlowe won’t be pleased.

Faye: You’re in, aren’t you?

Panel 4: Medium Shot of a very imposing, but sleek male standing on the dock, watching other scruffy looking strong men load the truck.

CAP 7: “Talent’s talent,” he tells me, “an’ ya don’t squander
God’s gift, lovey”

Panel 5: CU of the man's grinning, showing off his golden teeth.

CAP 8: Wonder if he knows where he can stick this gift.
something i made (and won) for a comic script contest on penciljack. Enjoy.
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Submitted on
May 24, 2006
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